Well, today is Friday and it has been a really good day. I started off my day by taking my older sister to the airport. She is going to Japan to work for 2 1/2 weeks. I am envious, yet so proud of her for working so darn hard. Although, I do worry about her often when she is out of town. I guess I can honestly say that I worry about both of my sisters- but not as much now as I did prior to the injury. I had to loosen the "momma bear" control on both of them. This control was self induce- I had always played the role of protector etc, but since the injury I had become too weak and fatigued to carry out that role. I was so afraid at first to let go, but knew that I could not protect them as I had done once before. Apart of me, in the beginning of this transition, felt as though I would not be as important or needed by either once I couldn't fulfill this duty - here again all of these feelings were self imposed. They had never asked me to take on this role nor did they ever imply that I would be less important to them if I gave up this control. After my injury, both of my sisters graciously let me relinquish this role and I know that they still love me just as much now, if not more. I thank them very much, for giving me the strength to see that. I can now focus my energy more so on my life and health, which is the way they want it anyway. For they have become my protector at times over the past 2 years. Oh how I love them both so much. Ha, I think both of them were finally relieved that mama is leaving them alone... LOL especially my baby sister.
Today started out fun- I won a pizza from Papa Johns. One of a million that Papa is giving away. Well, I said to myself - I am feeling lucky - I will play the lottery- I should have just stopped at the pizza. Not so lucky on that scratch off ticket, so now my luck is 50 - 50. How will the Mega Lottery play out tonight. Yes I know- that's probably why I won't even check it for weeks to come- BUT you can't win if you don't play. :-)
I also received another phone call from John today. He is fighting so hard for my request to help change the safety manual in order to protect all field agents in the future. As he put it today, "I think I am going to make a few people really mad at me - but this has to get done". I think he is right about getting people really upset - but this isn't about how things were done or NOT done with my injury - it's about correcting the weaknesses that occurred so this doesn't happen again. You would think that people would get that. I am not here to point blame- what's done is done - I want to be excited that things get corrected and that all of my fellow co-workers are fully protected while in the field, the government can show just cause and recoup the expenses from a third party injury and taxpayers won't have to keep footing the bill when it is "others" who are responsible. It's NOT a me thing - it's a WE thing -
If we don't make mistakes -then how do we learn? I we don't learn then how can we grow? Learn from this and grow..... which also includes myself.
On another note-- Thank goodness for spell check....LOL oh well- this is me!!!!
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