I sat in my office and thought about what I would write for today, since I had missed yesterday's writing. So, I reviewed my MD's notes and decided to just pick one of many "impressions" as he calls them. My friend Landa and I met my brain injury specialist for the first time in January of 2011. We were there for over 5 hours. I was seen by two doctors and they did a "battery" of tests. This was the first time that I had heard the diagnosis of post trauma vision syndrome (PTVS). Most people hear of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but this was a new diagnosis, like many, that I would have to do research. If they would only talk accounting terms like assets and liabilities I could understand- but I would have to continue my research in the "medical world".
PTVS - is when a person will frequently report visual problems such as seeing objects appearing to move that are known to be stationary, seeing words in print run together, experiencing intermittent blurring, attempting to walk on a floor that appears tilted and having significant difficulties with balance and spatial orientation when in crowded moving environments. Besides fatigue, which can be brought on by PTVS, this syndrome has been a difficult one to overcome.
When I was first injured, I started having on and off symptoms of vertigo, which became more frequent as the days followed. Within three days of exposure, I was experiencing car and motion sickness- something that I have never had before. Within a week, I had a hard time driving, watching TV, looking at a computer screen or going into stores. I constantly had vertigo and felt as though I was always going down a dip in a big roller coaster. At times, some if not all of these things will still bother me during the day, although I am so thankful that it doesn't persist all day. I used to be a die hard fan of the TV series 24 - The series would start every January- in January of 2010, I could no longer watch TV. I had to miss other shows such as Fringe and American Idol due to flashing lights, the flicker of the TV screen itself and way too much movement. I had discovered in a doctor's office that trying to read a newspaper would put me into instant feeling of falling and nauseous.
I remember not too long after my injury I went to have an eye exam, thinking that maybe it was my actual eyesight. My prescription had change "quite a bit". I remember the person ordering the eye glasses asked me had I been in an accident or anything. I stated no but was exposed to some form of toxins. We talked and she stated that some people who acquire brain injuries will have their vision altered, and in some ways altered a great deal. My vision was altered quite a bit- I certainly went into bi-focal glasses and my near and far sightedness was altered since the prior year's exam. Little did I know them, that she had nailed it on the head (so to speak). It would be over a year after that exam of being diagnosed of having an insult to the brain.
Other things pertaining to the eyes and vision occurred as well. My right eye drooped (almost closed) as if I had a stroke. Although that physical symptom has improved, that eye will still droop when I become extremely fatigued or exhausted. I also keep raccoon eyes now. I guess dark circles are apart of my life for now.
Other issues associated with my new syndrome is vertigo, coordination, visual perception, issues with peripheral vision and the eyes not working together- I believe this is called convergence insufficiency. My behavioral optometrists (which I also saw for the first time this year) stated that my vision now works like a "video camera". If you swing around too fast the watcher of the movie will become nauseous- and this is what has happened to me. My brain is not processing the visual images as it should. I have not started the vision rehabilitation at this point. I am still waiting on the government to do their part- but he has given me a 50/50 chance of improvement. At least now I can stay in stores longer without getting sick, although I will need a nap after shopping in most cases. I keep this as part of my therapy - for I try to do some type of shopping once a week or go and walk around in stores. Most people that know me also know that I hate to shop, but this too has been incorporated as a part of my rehabilitation.
So, for now I push myself to be on the computer and watch more TV. Reading is still an issue, because I had lost most of my ability to just "scan" what I read. So I read a lot slower now and have issues with retaining some if not most of information as well. So I have to re-read most of the literature in order to retain the information. I will save this issue (short term memory, working memory and retrieval of information) of course for another blog. But for now, I so miss how I use to see the world, although I am blessed that I still have my vision. So for now - It is what it is... but things could always be worse.
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